Let’s be real. Finding a good mom friend is a lot like dating. You search high and low. When you find a potential candidate, you have conversations and try to “feel them out” — to see if they’re “the one”.
As I’ve written in previous posts, being a mom and having a social life is a hard balance. Once you find fellow moms you jive with, it’s like the stars aligned and all of your prayers will be answered.
They don’t judge your parenting choices.
In today’s society, it’s nearly impossible to parent without judgement. With the boom in social media you have hundreds (and sometimes thousands) of people watching and judging your every parenting move.
Do my mom friends and I raise our children the exact same way? No. Do they sit around and judge me or talk about said decisions behind my back? Also no.
The beauty about finding the perfect mom friend is finding someone who supports your parenting decisions even if they’d never do the same with their children. They listen to your reasoning as to why you are doing what you think is best for your family and accept it with open arms.
Did you elect to get an epidural during labor? Cool! Do you co-sleep? Selectively vaccinate? Give your child peanut butter before age 2? Use formula instead of breastfeeding? Put your kid on a leash in public? Great! You’re doing what’s best for you and your family.
Find friends who support the decisions you make and never make you feel inadequate for doing so. If your family is happy and healthy, that’s all that matters. Support your friends instead of judging.
They love your children like their own.
A few weeks ago we were on our way to the mall when my son got car sick. I’m talking full on vomiting EVERYWHERE. My BFF Molly was sitting next to him in the back seat and what did she do? She pushed up her sleeves and was literally elbow deep in Cole’s puke, cleaning him up and calming him down.
Molly didn’t hesitate and didn’t get squeamish or standoffish because of “germs”. She cleaned Cole up and helped him relax and calm down. When your bestie will go elbow deep in your kid’s puke, you know she’s a keeper.
You can have fun even when the kid’s aren’t around.
This requirement is crucial. You need to have more in common with your mom friends than just your children. You need to have fun with them when the kids aren’t around, too.
The moment I knew that my BFF Elisha and I were soulmates was when we had a mom’s night out in Freeport with our other BFF, Molly. We were supposed to be shopping, but ended up going to a quaint bar and having one too many extra dirty martinis....on a Sunday night. Whoops!
We laughed. We made memories. We bonded. Now we’re closer than ever and these two girls and the ones I go to for everything — good or bad — that happens to me & my family in life. We help each other celebrate the highs and muscle through the lows. They’re more like sisters to me than anything.
Finding the perfect mom friends is an achievement in itself. Here’s to all the fabulous, supportive, and strong mothers out there who are the best friends a girl could ask for.